Keynote Session: Actions Speak Louder than Code

[Fatima] Hey, hi, everyone,
my keynote is called

Actions Speak Louder than Code.

Since you've already heard an intro,

I'm just gonna get started.

So when I was eight years
old, my parents moved

to a new neighborhood called Fresh Meadows

and as you can imagine from the name,

it was a very storybook
residential village

with parks and walkways
and a local shopping center

and a public library and
this is me when I was around

eight years old, it's not Fresh Meadows,

but as you can see the
enthusiasm is more or less

the same today, since I
was new to the neighborhood

and I was also transferring
to a new school,

I didn't have any friends at the time.

The first friend I made
was a lovely little girl

named Gloria and Gloria and
her family were originally

from South Korea and we
first met in the big kid park

where we shared a love for the swings.

She quickly became my best friend.

We played together after
school and on weekends

her mom would invite me over

and I would eat all kinds
of traditional Korean food

like seasoned seaweed and kimchi.

I remember the summer of
first grade really well.

We laid back on the grass
and pointed out the shapes

of clouds to each other.

Gloria would bring ramen noodles with her.

She'd sneak them out from the kitchen.

We'd crack them open,
sprinkle over the seasoning

and eat them raw.

We really liked crunchy things
and we never really knew why

we were getting stomachaches.

(audience laughs)

The year I met Gloria
was the year that I was

eight years old and the year
that I was eight years old

was also 2001, which was
the year that 9/11 happened.

I remember the morning of 9/11.

I was sitting in the front
of my dad's 1960s Volvo.

We were stuck in a traffic
jam in Flushing, New York

and as some of you know Flushing,
it's always a traffic jam.

And I was on my way to my
second day of second grade

and I was really really
excited and I do that thing

when I'm excited where
I keep talking so fast

that I don't take a breath
and my dad's like shh,

it's the morning, I need
to listen to the news

so as always on the morning
ride, he would turn on

AM 880, which is the local
New York City NPR news station

and that's when we heard about
the first plane that crashed

into the Twin Towers
and as you can imagine,

the rest of my life after
that can be categorized

as growing up post 9/11 in New York City.

It was a couple of weeks
after 9/11 that I finally saw

Gloria again, I waited for her as usual

at the park where we always hung out,

it was an autumn afternoon
and there was this hazy

golden glow on the park and
it felt very storybook like.

When Gloria came, her mother was with her.

She came up to me,

she handed me her half of
our friendship bracelet

and an unopened pack of ramen noodles.

We can't be friends anymore, she told me,

because my mother says you're a terrorist.

I remember feeling so angry
and so hurt and it was so awful

and I was so confused,
it wasn't the first time

that I had encountered
that kind of fear and hate.

It was kind of an everyday
thing at that point. (laughs)

There were reporters who
came to school on the days

after 9/11, there were
people on the streets

who would tell you to go
back to your own country.

There were people who threw rocks

and there were these boys in Fresh Meadows

who would drive by and
throw raw eggs at me

when I was walking home from school

and I remember one particular
day where it hit my scarf

and our uniform was white
so instead of going home

I walked all the way to the
library, went to the bathroom,

washed out my scarf and
went home and told my dad

that I went to the waterpark
and didn't tell him

what actually happened, so
when he hears this recording,

he'll know what really happened that day.

It wasn't something new,
but it was a lot harder

when it came from Gloria.

I feel like fear and prejudice took away

one of my first best friends
and that stayed with me

for a lot of years, that
day in the park, though,

I just stood there and
didn't defend myself.

I just kind of watched her walk away.

It took me several years to come to terms

with that and how that
affected my identity

and I still remember Gloria now and then

when I shop at (speaks
foreign language), my local

Korean grocery store, I remember
her when I make kimchi soup

or savor the taste of seaweed noodles,

I think I remember her more
now not because of who she was

or because of our friendship
but because she's a symbol

of this struggle with my
identity and understanding

who I am and the world that I live in.

She was the first person
that I think I lost to fear

and to hatred and to
prejudice and losing her

was a moment that stayed
with me until today.

My college application letters were titled

Eating Ramen Raw and they were an ode

to talking about
representation and identity

and how I was still figuring
out where I could belong.

I asked myself, where do I belong?

Am I a Pakistani, as my parents are,

am I American because I grew up here?

If we were to go back to those
years, to the early 2000s

and create a Venn diagram
of these two identities,

the ideal place to live would
be in that intersection.

That was the place that I wanted to be,

what we now call Asian
American or Pakistani American.

But I felt that growing up
there was no space or acceptance

of that intersection in that society.

There is now and I'm
really grateful for that.

I found this art online and
I found it really spoke to

the kinds of things
that go through my mind

when I think about
identity, it's hard to see

what the speech bubbles say
but some of them will say

you'll never get a good
job, you should get married.

These are things you'll hear
from the Pakistani community,

why are you working, you should be at home

and on the other side
you'll hear people say

you'd look prettier without your hijab

or I don't know why you have to wear it

or why are you even working
and things like that

but what I loved about this image was

nevertheless, she persisted,
that after hearing

all those things you have
to stay true to who you are

and that can be really hard.

In the Muslim community, when
we talk about growing up,

post 9/11, we call it
growing up in a world

where people have already
decided who you are.

Like you've already been presumed guilty

for a crime that you didn't commit.

It was a time when Muslim
parents cautioned their daughters

not to wear hijab, not to
attend after school clubs

and not to come home and
to come home before dark.

It was a time when my dad
uncharacteristically told me

don't take on any leadership
roles, don't publicly speak.

Don't raise your voice so loud
so that you won't be safe.

Didn't quite work out that way. (laughs)

It was a time when we didn't feel safe,

when walking on the streets
meant you'd be harassed

or cursed at, when someone would say hey,

when are you gonna blow
something up or go back

to your own country or throw things at us,

and so I learned to smile and be pleasant

when I'm interacting with strangers,

not make eye contact
with someone that seems

uncomfortable with me
and to speak in English

if my parents called me
because God forbid I say

(speaks foreign language)
in a public space.

There was a time when a lot of
Mohammeds became known as Mo

and myself as Fatima instead of Fatima,

which is the correct
pronunciation of my name

and so I think of it as
giving up parts of identities,

to try to fly under the normal
radar as much as we could.

We adapted, we denied part of ourselves

just to survive.

Sometimes with the
political climate in the US,

it feels like we're reliving this.

On days after weeks like
the New Zealand shooting,

I question the spaces
that I think I belong in

and I wonder if I'm still
safe where I think I am.

The narrative of growing up
Muslim in a post 9/11 America

is one that hasn't been told enough

and this is the first time

that I'm speaking publicly about it.

It's one that can be
difficult to relate to.

If you haven't heard the
stories, experienced it,

or known someone who talks about it.

So today, I'd like to take
you on a small glimpse

of what that journey
looks like, of growing up

and living in a country
that sometimes leads

with prejudice instead of empathy

and to talk about how the
truth is that the options

that we have and the
choices that we can make

are limited by who we are
and how we identify ourselves

and you don't have to be
Muslim to understand that.

As we go through these stories,

there's a couple of things

that I'd like you to think about.

If you feel compelled to
make a certain choice,

think about where and
why that's coming from.

If a choice seems ridiculous
or strange to you,

also try to think about why that is.

If these stories make you
uncomfortable, don't panic,

that's a really good thing.

That implies that you're
dealing with something

that's challenging what
you know to be normal

and when you're challenging
that, that's good

because that means that we're
expanding our perspective.

So to change things up a little,

we're gonna do a little activity.

A couple of weeks ago, I
was at the New York City

School Data Conference where Kelly Jin

the data officer for the city of New York

did this activity with the crowd,

encourage everyone to stand up,

please get out of your seats,

this is a cheesy activity,

so the first thing I'm gonna ask you to do

is raise your hands to the sky, great,

wow, everyone's really participatory,

and then I'm gonna ask
you to tiptoe and raise

a little bit more, that's all I got,

you can sit down now.

(audience laughs)

Just a reminder that you can always reach

little bit higher.

(audience laughs)

That takes us to our
next part of our keynote

which is oh no.

The choose your own adventure
so if you'll all take out

your mobile device or a laptop or anything

that has internet connectivity

and go to mid.camp/keynote
you'll see our Slido page.

There's a test poll, so if
we could just get everyone

to vote in the test poll just to make sure

everyone is able to access Slido.

For this part of the keynote,
I'm gonna present you

with a scenario, each
scenario will have one

or two or three choices,
you'll make a choice.

We'll look at what everyone chooses

and then I'll walk through
what I would choose

in that scenario based on a true story

and also why I would choose those choices

so I'll give everyone a couple of minutes

to make sure that they're on Slido

and if you're having any
trouble, Midcamp team

will help you, thank you.

I don't have any hellos or waves yet.

That's funny.

Is it hard to see the choices?

- [Man] Well, it doesn't
pop to that screen.

- Ooh.
- As soon as you get

past the speaker question, then zero one.

- [Fatima] Ooh, so that poll
is not active, oops, sorry.

- [Man] Yeah, I get the
boarding your flight.

- [Fatima] Sorry, went
ahead, try to refresh now

and you should see test
poll, yeah, sorry about that.

Also, like, Slido, your embed
is not accessible at all.

Oh my God, it's live changing, thank you,

Michael Hess, for giving me
your Slido subscription for this

We were looking at all the node JS tools

that we could possibly
build for live polling

and I was like I can't, so this is great.

Is there anyone who isn't able to vote

or having trouble with
Slido, don't want to leave

anyone behind, yes?

- [Man] It says enter code here?

- Enter code?
- Okay.

- [Fatima] Oh, Abby to the rescue.

- [Man] There's 107 people.

- [Fatima] Is that what we've
got in terms of this morning?

- [Man] About that, yeah.

- [Fatima] Awesome, okay.

All right, so if everyone's
voted, I'm gonna close that poll

and move on.

That takes us to our first scenario

which is boarding your flight.

Here it is, you're sitting on the exit row

from a flight from Toronto
Pearson to La Guardia

next to a middle aged white woman.

Your father calls to
wish you a safe flight,

ending the call with (speaks
foreign language) which means

God protect you and is the
equivalent of bye for Muslims.

The flight attendant comes over to explain

the exit row procedure in
both English and French

'cause it's Air Canada.

In case of emergency, your
neighbor is visibly uncomfortable

and asks the flight attendant
to please change your seat

because she's afraid that you won't comply

with the emergency procedures
and you'll put the rest

of the passengers in danger.

The flight attendant thinks
about it and looks around

but you already know the
gate checked your bag

and that flight is really
full so what would you do?

A, stand up for yourself
or B don't make any waves?

Stand up for yourself could
take the form of trying

to reason with the woman who's afraid,

reassuring her or speaking
to the flight attendant

about how unfair the request
is, any form of pushing back,

that would be choice A.

Choice B would be not saying anything

and remaining agreeable,
smiling to whatever decision

the flight attendant takes,
try not to make any requests

and just do as you're told,
I'm gonna activate the poll

so that you can go back.

And make your choice.

And I'll give everyone two
minutes ish to do that.

This is also gonna be an
interesting experiment for me

because I admittedly
have a lot of assumptions

about what people are gonna pick.

But one thing I would say
is don't think of this

as choosing for me but choosing for you

and I think that's where we
will get most of the impact

from seeing what everyone picks.

Ooh, the counter, 99 votes
are in, 103. (laughs)

Yeah, this is really, it's
real time, I'm very impressed.

Things you can do with money.

(audience laughs)

It's true. (laughs)

When we were talking
about this polling thing,

Michael said, like, if you
can build me an open source

solution I would be so happy to use it

and I was like. (laughs)

Great, when should I?

Do you have, how many was the first one?

So we've got two more
votes than the test poll,

so that's exciting, I'm gonna go ahead

and vote for myself.

So we've got standing
up for yourself at 69%

and don't make any waves at 31%.

I'll let that sink in for a bit.

Ooh, slides.
- Show the results.

- Oh, so they've seen them, great.

All right, so I'm gonna
tell you what happens

when you make that choice.

Based on a true story.

Standing up for yourself
escalates the situation

so after some arguing ensues
with you and the woman

or you and the flight
attendant, you're likely

gonna be taken off the plane
unless you put up some money

like $200 to upgrade to business class

which you likely don't
have or don't want to

because you're so humiliated
and angry at that point.

Choice B, the flight attendant
offers the woman an upgrade

because you're complying

and she doesn't think it's a problem

and so the woman pays an extra $40 to move

a couple of seats ahead
of you but you're still

on the same plane and
you're still in the exit row

so let that sink in for a bit.

This is what actually happened to me.

This woman paid $65 to
sit in a comfort plus seat

so she didn't have to sit next to me.

You may have noticed in this scenario

that there were only two choices.

And there were very, very extreme choices.

The person that I worked with
to write up these scenarios

and I felt that, this was
to do this on purpose.

There are two choices, one is aggressive

and one is really passive
and it kind of reflects

the reality of the situation.

You're on a plane, it's really tense

and there's this moment of tension

where you have to decide like
fight or flight, literally.

It's not over, and to give
a little bit of context,

getting to the airport,
going through security,

praying that you have a nexus card

and you still don't get flagged

but sometimes I still get flagged,

eventually getting on the
plane, like your battle

has not ended, you need to
actually land that flight

so things like this happen a lot.

Sometimes they happen when
I'm in the security lane

or someone throws a shoe at me.

Sometimes it happens on
the plane where someone

doesn't want to sit next to me.

Sometimes it happens in the line,

if I'm boarding before my zone is called

and someone says you
immigrant, don't you know,

you're not in zone two,
so things like this happen

and now that I'm traveling
a lot for Drupal,

it happens a little bit more often.

But there have been
times where other people

have spoken up for me, more so lately

like people will step in
between me and the person

that's being rude, things like that.

So it's not over once
you're on the airplane

and just be a little bit conscious

that if you see this happening,

you stepping in to kind
of defuse the situation

would be helpful, also, one
thing that I was thinking

in this particular
scenario that happened was

when the flight attendant was thinking,

I was thinking, okay,
is the flight attendant

gonna be neutral, is the flight
attendant also afraid of me?

Because if the flight
attendant has their own bias,

then I'm basically screwed,
but if the flight attendant

thinks about it, and thinks
that this woman is being

unreasonable and doesn't
have a real reason

to be afraid of me

then there's a chance that
we might come to a resolution

so these are the kinds of
things that go through my mind

in a situation like that.

I'm gonna deactivate this poll.

And we're gonna move on
to the next scenario.

Is everyone feeling okay, yeah, great,

next scenario is taking groceries home.

This happened in Boston for context

'cause the travel system there sucks.

It was the week after
your father recovered

from a bad case of the flu so after work

you headed over to the farmer's market

to get groceries and a lot of
chicken to make chicken soup.

You got on the bus home carrying
two very large tote bags

and you zipped them
'cause raw chicken stinks.

A man was watching you and
before he did anything,

he got up and went to this driver first.

I guess the driver told him
that there's nothing I can do,

man, and then he approached
you, said you looked dangerous

and demanded that you either
get off the bus or show him

what's in your bag and at this
point, the man is screaming,

people on the bus are kind of
trying not to make eye contact

with me 'cause they were just like,

oh shit, shit's going down,

oh no, I curse that my
dad's gonna watch this.

(audience laughs)

Sorry, Dad, so this guy
demands that you show him

what's in your bags or
you get off the bus.

And for context, you know
that if you get off this bus,

you have to walk for half
an hour to take the train

that takes you home and you
are carrying a lot of groceries

so I've activated the
poll, your first choice is

open your bags for him to take a look.

Let him see that it's chicken
and you're on your way

or B just get off at the
next stop because you can't

put up with this.

Give you a couple minutes
to get your votes in

and feel free to discuss
it, yeah, why not.

Agile.

(crowd murmurs)

I talk fast.

Mmm?

Oh, is there an option C
and I never edited the poll?

- [Man] No, there isn't,
they're making an option C.

- [Fatima] What would
you like option C to be?

- [Man] To tell him to get off the bus.

- [Fatima] Yeah, yeah, do you
want me to put that option,

do people in this room, you
don't have to raise your hand,

you can just go like yes, want an option C

for telling the guy to get off the bus?

(crowd agrees)

Okay.

All right, I'm editing
the poll, so let's see,

tell him to get off the bus.
- Cheerfully tell him.

- Oh cheerfully?
(audience laughs)

Cheerfully, just to be transparent,

I don't have an end scenario for that,

but we can talk about it.

Wow, the votes are going from B to C.

(audience laughs)

Look at that.

Can someone demonstrate
cheerfully telling someone

to get off the bus?

(audience laughs)

- [Man] How 'bout you get off the bus?

(audience laughs)

- [Man] I feel sorry for your problem

but you could help by
getting off the bus too.

- Here, I pushed the yellow button for you

and the doors are open.

(audience laughs)

Wouldn't it be?
- I wouldn't want you

to feel uncomfortable by
riding along with me, so.

It's a free country, you can use the door.

(audience laughs)

And I won't even let it
hit you on the way out.

(audience laughs)

- Please, for the people in the back,

someone in the front
said, you can tell them

it's a free country, you can use the door

and I'll make sure they don't
hit you on the way back.

(audience laughs)

Love those buses.

Especially when the bus door opens

and there's like a giant chunk of snow

and you're thinking about what do I do,

I need to jump into the
snow and then the doors

start closing before you're done thinking.

At one point, I was like, oh
no, the doors are closing,

tried to get out of the
bus, my backpack got stuck

on the inside of the doors
and so I was like oh God,

yeah, it was pretty comical
and then once I did get off

I was like nobody saw that, okay, like.

So we've got 113 votes
in, which is two short

of what we had in the last
poll, so I'm gonna move on.

I'm gonna make my

selection, great.

- [Man] You can only do cheerfully,

so we know what you vote.

(audience laughs)

- So like for more context,
the true story here

was the year after the
Boston marathon bombing

and so I was living in
Boston working for the city

of Boston and I had a lot
of pride because sometimes

I'd be on the bus and someone behind me

would be like looking at
the city of Boston website

paying their parking ticket
and I was like, I built that.

So as you can imagine, getting
into a scenario like this

on the bus, you kind of
just want to spitball

and be like I built your
website, come on, you know,

so just to keep that in
mind, all right, we're gonna

go over the scenario responses,
A, if you open the bags

for him to take a look, he
picks through your bags,

he looks at the groceries,
he realizes that it's chicken

and vegetables and quietly
goes back to his seat

but doesn't apologize.

You get off at the next
stop, if you're me,

you're crying at this point,
you carry your groceries

several blocks to get
that orange line train

to get back to Charleston, it
takes you half an hour longer

to get home, you're exhausted,
you wanna talk about it,

if you're me, you probably
posted a long rant

on Facebook about it, and
then you just have to go

and make that soup 'cause your dad's sick.

What's interesting about
this scenario is that

neither of these is really the ending.

So this is what happens
right after, right,

but the ending looks like this.

You tell people what
happened that day on the bus,

they're outraged and
they're concerned for you,

they keep asking, why didn't
you stand up to this guy,

he was irrational, why
did you not tell him

to take another bus?

(audience laughs)

Why not be brave and fight
your accusers as they come?

You may have noticed that
the endpoint is the same,

this is because no matter what,
you're still gonna get home

with your stuff, but it's what
happens in that interaction

that really affects what you're left with.

Every time I get on a
bus now, I check myself.

It's what my friend and I
call the getting on the bus

mental checklist for a
Muslim so am I smiling?

Do I look approachable?

Is my bag too big?

And things like that so like
before I get on the bus,

I'm basically doing what
other people do to me

so that I feel safer and
better and more comfortable

getting on this bus 'cause
I'm not flagging any of those

very obvious radars that people have.

Right, sorry, I got the checklist wrong,

it's the mental checklist
for boarding public transport

while Muslim, to be written.

So if everyone's feeling
good, we're gonna move on

to the next and last scenario, thumbs up?

- Thumbs up.
- Great,

we are doing really well on time.

All right.

I am just gonna double
check that I updated

the poll on this one.

This one was a lot harder to do

and I'll talk about this a little later,

but the original story had about,

it's what we call the go back choice,

so I did choice A and I went
back and I did choice B,

then I went back, there
was a C, a D, and an E,

and I went to my
screenwriter and I was like

this is how it actually went down

and she was like, this
is not possible to do

in a presentation, it
requires too many branches

and so this is a modified
version but if anyone

wants to chat about it, let
me know and I'll take a moment

in the results to talk
about what really happened.

So here's your next scenario,
you have just started

a new job and you'd like
to do your prayers at work

on your lunch break.

It only takes around five minutes.

There's no HR person at this company yet

'cause they're pretty small
and you don't really feel

like asking your coworkers
yet 'cause you're new,

you moved here, they
helped you get set up,

you've already asked for so many things

so you know that feel where you're like,

I can't ask for one more thing anymore

and so ideally you'd just
like a really low key place

like a corner where nobody
goes to pray and just quickly

get it over with before anyone notices,

so you've got a couple of choices here.

A, you pray in the storage
room under the stairs.

For some context, there's a
basement, you go down the stairs

There's three bathrooms,
and then there's one like

broom closet that isn't a bathroom

and is pretty clean and
so you can pray there.

You can pray in an extra conference room,

caveat, they have glass
windows and glass doors

and glass everything and
C, not B, sorry, typo,

ask a manager for help,
you have a team lead

and you just met but you can
just go there and ask him

about it, so I'm gonna activate the poll,

oh, y'all are so fast.

Just to be transparent,

y'all are proving my assumptions correct.

And I'm gonna wait for

but feel free to chat about it.

We thought this would be a good scenario

to sort of wrap the scenarios up with

because this one is sort of
near and dear to all of us.

We all work at workplaces,
we all need to ask

for accommodations in different ways,

whether it's holidays,
whether it's a sick leave

so when you think about this,
don't think specifically

about praying but think about
it as making accommodations

for people who need them like
Midteam has a mother's room

and if you notice on
their slides for the party

on was it Saturday night or Friday night?

Friday night, they also pointed out

that if non alcoholic spaces
are your thing, let's chat

and things like that are really important

and so this story sort of
speaks to that mindset.

My Twitter is off the hook.

So like 10 minutes before the keynote,

my dad was like, can we Facetime,

and I was like Dad, you
don't understand technology,

that means you'll be on
the screen the whole time.

So now he's messaging me,
he's like how's it going,

I'm speaking, you want me to take a break,

let me text my dad.

If he wants to be Facetimed?

All right, next version of this,

my dad will be live Tweeting.

(audience laughs)

I think he would cry in the beginning,

point out typos in the second half

and just like fervently
nod in the third section.

Very predictable, so
we've got 112 votes in,

so I'm gonna move on.

Gonna place my vote, yes, I
prayed in the storage room.

So as you can see, overwhelming majority

on asking a manager for
help and then praying

in a storage room under the
stairs which is what I did

and then praying in the empty
conference room near your desk

All right, so if you decided
to pray in the storage room

under the stairs like I
did, it's dark and dusty

but it's private, and you
like it for that reason.

A couple of people will
come up and down the stairs

to go down to the bathroom
and if they see you

standing in the closet
facing the wall they will try

to talk to you 'cause
they're concerned about

what's happening, but as
soon as you like go through

the rest of the prayer
motions, they're like, oh no,

sorry, Fatima, there's this
little bit of awkwardness

where I would sometimes giggle
because it was too funny.

Some people would stop and
start talking about the thing

that they were talking about
when they were at my desk

so like yeah, so the client
said, and I'd be like,

please, I'm praying. (laughs)

So that was fun but then my
boss messaged me and said hey,

that place that I think
you're praying is gonna be

another bathroom so they're
starting remodeling next week

so you're gonna have to
figure out where to go

and he suggests another room
which is on the second floor.

If you selected choice
B and decided to pray

in an empty conference
room near your office

or your desk, there's a lot of typos,

you have to walk down the
hall past your boss's office

to get to this conference
room that's free.

He's always really surprised to see you

and says hello every time you stop by

and asks you what you're
doing and you're like oh, hey,

yeah, I'm good, I'm just gonna go pray

and this happens like
three or four times a week

and it's hella awkward,
the conference room itself

like I mentioned has
glass walls so sometimes

people come in when you're
praying and start talking to you

'cause they're not sure what's going on.

Sometimes people stop
by the glass and stare

for a second 'cause they're
a little bit confused.

This goes on until someone finds out

and lets you know that
maybe you should put a sign

that says quiet, prayer
in progress on the window.

It's quite possibly the
single most awkward thing

that you've experienced,
so you're thinking,

maybe I should figure something else out.

And finally like you all would like to do,

you ask a manager to help,
this is with the assumption

that you have rapport with your manager,

so if you're new at your job, like,

this is very, very low probability

but you plan to reach
out to your team lead

and you wait for a good opportunity

because you've already asked
for a lot of accommodations.

Luckily, at the end of
the week, your team lead

has a check in with you and says,

is there anything you need

and this is the opportunity
that you've been waiting for

and you tell him about needing
a low key place to pray.

He offers his office and says don't worry

about everybody else, I'll talk to them,

I'll let them know what's going on

and so that they don't act weird

and he takes that initiative

which is super helpful and
also takes the burden off you

for having to explain to
everyone what you're doing.

Note that for each of these scenarios,

there was a different end point.

And this is because of
what I was talking about

a little bit earlier
where this wasn't exactly

how this went down.

So what really happened
and this was at Echidna,

shoutout, they did really
well, I went and prayed

in the storage room under
the stairs, Andrew told me

that it was gonna become
a bathroom, he said,

go to the actual storage
room, which is like

a garage with a door and
it's a really heavy door

so no one will hear you if
you want to pray out loud,

weird assumption, so I
went and prayed there

until one day, one of
our marketing managers

walked in to come get
some of those jerseys

that we wear for camp and I'm praying

and he walks in and I'm like oh God.

And so he awkwardly messages me on Slack

and says hey, that place is
dusty and it's a storage room

and there's no ventilation,
there's like this space

on the second floor, it's
like everybody comes up

the stairs, there's like a big landing

and then there's this
door to the second floor.

Why don't you try to pray
there, and I was like oh,

that place is clean, well
lit, it's got a window

and so I relocate to the second floor

but what happens is when
people go for coffee breaks

they walk right behind me and
there's this awkward moment

where they're chatting
as they open the door,

the chatting goes, (gasps)

excuse me, oh, okay, sorry

and then they're like sorry, sorry, sorry

as they walk by and then they message me,

I'm like really sorry and
every time somebody messaged me

I copy paste the same
thing, like, it's okay,

it's chill, I don't
mind if you're talking,

I don't mind if you're walking behind me,

literally, I don't mind, just let me pray.

And then someone in
that inside of the door,

Jay, who was our content
strategist was like hey,

why don't you come in the other side

and put up this quiet,
prayer in progress sign

I made for you and now
nobody will use this door

to go through it and instead
they'll see this sign

and they'll go through the other entrance

so no one will walk behind you

and no awkwardness on either part

so I tried to do this for a while.

This required me to go
to the second floor,

walk past everyone, who was like, hey,

what are you doing here,
hey, nice to see you again,

put up the sign, open
the door and go pray,

then walk back in, take down,

it just wasn't gonna
happen, I did it a few times

and then eventually I would
just go out the other side

and pray without putting up the sign

and then again, awkwardness,
so I talked to Jay

about it and he was like, try
talking to our new HR person

up here, so then I talked to the HR person

and she said there is a
new office with no windows

that we're gonna use as a conference room,

caveat, it's at the end of a long hallway

where all of senior management sits

and they have glass walled offices

and so I was like okay, I'll try this

and this was one of the
choices that we did earlier

where I would walk past
the marketing manager,

the vice president of the company,

and everybody would literally stop me,

be like hey, how's it
going and I'd be like, hey,

what are you doing on this floor,

just going to the quiet room to pray

and eventually I was just
so mortified to do that

every day that I was like,
I can't do this anymore

and the HR was like,
well, there's a shortcut

so if you go to the other side,
walk through the bathroom,

you only have to pass two
offices, and I was like,

can't do it, especially
because one of those offices,

bless his soul, Victor, I'm
sure most of you know Victor

from Digital Echidna, it's his office

and Victor is just,
he's such a nice person

and he's so kind and he
literally just wants to say

hey, what's up but I don't
think he quite understood

what effect that was
having on me as I was like

trying to like squirrel my
way into the conference room.

So eventually my team lead sits me down

and this is Travis and I
recently moved to his team

and he was like is there
anything that you need,

we're in a new office,
anything about the environment

that I can help you with, and
he's very intuitive about this

and I explained to him like
here is the background,

the five choices I made and where I am now

and so Travis and I share
like a corner of the office

where we joke about putting a sofa

and he says to me, why
don't you just pray there

and if anybody like says
anything, I'll just look at them

and Travis is this like
very intimidating guy

with a beard and a baseball cap.

If someone's talking really
loud and he looks over,

they just like, (clicks)
and then I was like,

you know what, this is
the best solution yet

and so in one of our team
standups, he tells the team,

Fatima's gonna pray here, y'all
don't have to worry about it

Don't talk to her while
she's praying but feel free

to resume your humanly
activities and don't act weird.

And so this worked really
well for me for a while

until I left Echidna but I
think this was the single most

like successful journey I
had in finding a prayer room

but people do it in
different ways, for example,

at Midwest Dev Summit, the first day,

the first hour that I arrived,
Michael Hess takes me down

and introduces me to three
different prayer rooms

with different levels of
visibility and gives me the key

and he's like these three
are for you for this weekend.

Wherever you need to pray,
whenever you need to pray,

do it and so I always think
of that as an example of like,

if you know someone is coming to your camp

or to your office or you're hiring someone

who is visibly Muslim,
like ask them if they need

a prayer room, ask them if they
need special accommodation,

ask them when Eid is,
maybe they need time off.

Like talk about Ramadan,
'cause my coworkers didn't know

about Ramadan, so the first
year I was just low key fasting

and no, I'm good, I'm not hungry. (laughs)

No, I'm good, I only want to drink water.

Your throat's parched, that's okay,

I don't want to talk about it

and the second year I
prepared a slide deck.

(audience laughs)

I was like at here in general,

this is the slide deck and
then my manager reached out,

yeah, and she was great, and she was like

do you need to accommodate
like different timings,

like we have a 7:30 to
two o'clock schedule

and I was like yes, because at
two o'clock my brain is mush

'cause I haven't eaten anything all day

and so things like that are great.

If you can get ahead of
them, take initiative,

support the people that are in the room

and I'm sure that there are
accommodations for people

who are not Muslims like
mothers and like quiet rooms

and mother rooms and things like that,

so just something to keep in mind

and I thought that if you
could remember any one

of my stories, this one would probably be

the most close to home
for a lot of people.

Great, so, drink water.

How am I on time, does it end at 10:30?

- Yeah.
- Okay, cool,

so we're reaching the
last half, last third

of this presentation set.

So for this last half, I'm gonna go over

a couple of strategies or talking points

or things that I'd like
you to think about.

The idea is that you don't
have to absorb all of them

or do all the things I
tell you to do but take one

and go with it and so I'm
closing all the other polls

and I'm leaving open a poll
that's called one takeaway

and so at any time during
the next like six slides

if you feel like that's
the thing that I have

the capacity to do or that's
the thing I'm gonna think about

doing or that's the thing
that I'm gonna explore to see

if I'm ready to do it, please
just drop that in there.

It's an open text field
and I would love to hear

which one of the things
that I talked about

really struck you the most

because I'm not you and you're not me

and so this is how we learn
from each other, great.

So all of those sad stories
and fun stories being said,

how can we do better?

I'm gonna share a couple
of things in which I think

we can be more inclusive
of people in shared spaces

like this one, the pace of this section

is a little faster so don't feel compelled

to do everything, learn everything
or write everything down.

What I'd like for you
to do is listen and feel

and really like listen
to your heart of hearts

and really see what strikes you the most.

Okay, so if everyone's ready?

We're gonna get started, great,

first, we're gonna talk about belonging,

so everyone has a need for
validation, and connection

with others, and this need
that we all want to be unique.

And belonging meets this
need, it includes yourself,

you get accepted and you also
get valued for who you are.

I attended a conference
in Canada, hosted by

the Canadian Digital
Services and it was called

Diversity, Inclusion, and
Digital Services, wow.

And in her keynote,

Hilary Hartley shared a
really interesting point

which was we all hear about this metaphor

of diversity and inclusion where it's like

diversity is being invited to the party,

inclusion is being asked to dance

and she added, and belonging
is being on the committee

and deciding the venue,
the food and the music.

So I really like thinking
about it in that way.

The first tip that I have is
find time to tell our stories.

Sharing stories with each other
helps us build connections,

helps us build empathy and
it helps foster that sense

of belonging and
sometimes it's really hard

to tell your own story and to do that

there's something that my
team does in introductions

to really higher level
management, like when we're doing

big presentations, we're
like three young women

in government and so we're
talking to drone pilots

and aviation, like pilots,
and these are people

who are ex military, so they're
like these big, hulky guys

like Bruce who talk like
this, legit, like Bruce,

the first day I met him, he
was like, nice to meet you

and then he said, by the way, I'm a pilot,

I've worked in the Iran
war, and then he was like,

I've dropped bombs on
people and I was stunned,

I was like is it just me, what
if I was from Afghanistan,

where you dropped bombs and
that kind of introduction

made me realize and that was
in our first week at Transport.

I was like oh boy, we're
gonna have to find a way

to quickly establish
credibility with these people

because they see us as kids
'cause we're young women

and so one of the things
that my team does to do this

is we swap introductions,
so each person gets a slide,

we put down our professional
experience, things that

we're working on and what we're bringing

to this drone project
that we're working on

and so I'll introduce Jen,
Jen will introduce Angie

and Angie will introduce
me and in this way,

it's so easy for people to say good things

and to establish credibility
about someone else.

And it's a lot harder
to do that for yourself

if you haven't had that,
like, buildup of confidence

and self esteem so this
is like one technique.

I'm sure there's lots more and
that you can think about it.

And so sharing our stories
but also really listening

to the stories that our
peers have and for this,

my notes are out of sync,
so I am gonna have to do it

on the fly, so there were
two stories in the room

that I wanted to share and
one was David, where you at?

David does this thing, it's
called one winter night,

I'm doing this without notes,
where you stay for 12 hours

in downtown in winter,
correct me if I'm wrong

to kind of simulate the
feeling of homelessness

and when you don't have
shelter and he does this

almost every year and he raises money

and builds like the tent and stays in it

and I think that's a story
that needs to be shared more

and that we should all be listening to.

Another story that's in
the room, Anya, Anya?

Is maybe, so Anya is known
for giving really really

technical talks about back end
Symphony, about migrations,

about layout builder,
but what you don't know

is that Anya is from Ukraine and she gave

a really amazing talk at Digital Echidna

about building an inclusive
culture within work

and talking about
different things from like

how coming from Ukraine to Canada

and this is a direct quote
but like the button in the bus

to pick the stop, that looks
like an electrical component,

why would you press that?

And so to give credit to Anya,
like these are conversations

that you can have with
her that you wouldn't know

if she had the chance to share that story,

that would be really
great so really listen

to the stories of your peers
and when you hear something

that seems like you
something you don't know

about someone, ask them
about it, hear more about it,

value them for it.

Next one is learn the
language, use the language.

I'm gonna say a word and
you're gonna have to raise

your hand and tell me if it
makes you cringe, privilege,

me too.

If that word makes you
uncomfortable, really think about

why that is in where that comes from.

In full honesty, two
years ago when I first met

the Drupal Diversity folks
and I saw the word privilege

in Slack, I would like Google
it again and again and again

'cause I was like I think
I know what this means

but it makes me feel
really weird and apparently

I have to talk about it and
if I'm part of this group,

I think I should know what that means,

like good, solid, like I know
what the word ice creams means

solid, but the word privilege,
it's an uncomfortable word

and the way to get around
that is to do your research,

read about it, make it
feel okay, it's just a word

and it signifies a lot of
really important things

when talking about inclusion,
so when you feel uncomfortable

don't stop there, there's more,
there's a whole pot of gold

you can find. (laughs)

And it's okay not to know
because we're all learning

and we can all do our
research, emphasis here on do

because it's important if
you don't know something,

you can go and do your research.

If you know someone and they
feel comfortable telling you

about it, ask them, do you
feel comfortable talking

to me about this, do you feel comfortable

if we have the conversation
about inclusion,

can you tell me more about
why you choose to identify

a certain way and how
environments make you feel?

Ask them, it's okay for a
person to say no, sorry,

I don't feel comfortable,
but give them that option

to explain it to you if you would like to,

do your research and try to
be really really generous

when it comes to
uncomfortable conversations.

Not only to the people that you're asking

but also to yourself because
this stuff's not easy.

One example that I saw on
Twitter last night actually

when I was designing my
slides, turns out I'm not

very good at CSS, but
there's an advanced CSS talk

this weekend, was this, I
say hey guys all the time

and have to correct
myself and it surprises me

how many replacements
there were for hey guys

that I haven't thought of,
like hey peeps, hey folks,

hey all, hey crew, hey
pals, and so thinking about

let's not get fixated on
the fact that we always use

the word guys and try to like

be generous and understand that

we could slowly improve
to using something else.

Amplify the unheard voices,
give someone a spotlight

at your camp, hey Midcamp.

If you have a loud voice
or you have a platform,

use it, and use it to give
someone else the spotlight

that isn't usually heard or has a story

that you've never heard before.

Consider your environment
and embrace who's missing,

not literally, okay, don't
go around saying Fatima

told you to go give hugs at camp,

but metaphorically, one
story that comes to mind

was at a Drupal camp welcome dinner

and I won't tell you who it is

but we were at the welcome dinner

at this restaurant and
the organizer got a call

from the person who was in a wheelchair

who couldn't figure out how
to get into this restaurant

and then the organizer went
out, talked to the restaurant

and it turns out it wasn't
accessible and the rest of us

sat there and ate our dinner and chatted

and that person went
home and I have no clue

how we all digested our
food because that was awful,

don't do that, try not to do
that, make an active effort

not to do that, when you're at an event,

take a look around, who's
there, who's missing,

is there only alcohol to
drink, this has happened,

is it too loud for anyone to actually hear

what you're saying, is it too loud for you

to hear what you're thinking?

What kind of food is available?

If it's on the weekend or late night,

is there childcare, so
there's a lot of ways

to build an inclusive event and I'm sure

you could talk to Midcamp
organizers about that

'cause they do a pretty good job.

Acknowledge that oppression is constant.

Some of you may not like
to hear this but it is.

I wish there was a switch
that I could turn off and on

depending on the day so I could walk out

and just be a normal person and be treated

like a normal person, but the reality is,

that's not an option for
me so if you're in LA

and if you're someone that
wants to make a better place

and can live your life
without worrying about

all the things I worry
about when I get on a plane,

get on a bus, walk into
a room, have a large bag,

think about the fact that
for me, it's constant

and the more you do for
me, the more you build

your environment at work, at
home, in camps, at meetups,

in events, the easier it
is for me to live my life

on a daily basis.

And relatedly you don't have to understand

to help someone feel safe.

I've been thinking a lot
about how we don't really have

to understand what being
marginalized feels like.

I have a unique perspective
in that I'm Muslim

and I'm visibly hijabi, but

there are other types of marginalizations.

There's identities, there's orientations,

there's different countries
that people come from,

there's skin color, there's all of that,

and so I can't necessarily understand

what all of those people go through,

but I can take steps
to make them feel safe.

One thing that I had in my
notes is when something bad

happens or when something
seems obviously uncomfortable,

instead of saying are you
okay, I've learned to say

what do you need or what can I do?

Choose empathy.

There was one time when I
went back to Fresh Meadows

so this is like middle
of my college career,

visiting my parents, I
was living in the dorms

and I went to a local
library and I saw Gloria,

at least, I think it was
Gloria and she was working

as a library assistant and
she was like sorting books

and laughing and when
she laughed, I was like,

that's Gloria, oh my God,
what am I gonna do? (laughs)

And I had this moment where I was like

I have all these things

that I want to say to you,

and part of which is that
you've brought me to a place

where I can talk about these
things because you're kind of

the metaphor for the
thing that I went through

but I realized that all of
that wasn't really important

and maybe Gloria wasn't
at a place where she would

understand and maybe it
was good to kind of let go

of that story and tell it
here at Midcamp instead

or tell it at some future
point at that point

and use that story to
grow myself as a person.

I do hope that no other little
Muslim girl goes through that

after Trump's presidency
or New Zealand shootings

or other manifestos that get published

and I hope that we can all do our part

to choose empathy whenever possible.

That's not to say that you don't

but to do it actively looks very different

from doing it unconsciously.

And remember that everyone
wants to be valued

for who they are and keeping that in mind

helps people be a lot more empathetic.

And finally, this wouldn't
be an inclusion presentation

if I didn't do a spiel for DD&I.

Help us do the work together.

DD&I wants to make this computer,
community, not computer,

a safer, more inclusive
place, we run meetings,

we create spaces for these difficult,

uncomfortable conversations,
we share resources

and we try to advocate for the voices

in the community that aren't heard.

We have so many initiatives this year.

We're helping people contribute

through our trip team, DDI
careers is helping people

make successful career
moves where they're happy

and satisfied with their jobs

and we support individuals at every level

of the contribution journey.

Come do the work, we're
at drupaldiversity.com,

or in the #diversity-inclusion
channel in the Drupal Slack.

Time check, okay, finally,
let's take a moment

to celebrate, wow, I just
did my first keynote.

(audience applauds)

SO when I reached out to Abby, I was like,

I have this idea for a presentation,

it's for the community tag,

it's like this half baked idea
about talking about privilege

without actually talking about
privilege and he was like

great, I'll take it to the team
and came back and was like,

wanna do a keynote and I
stopped and I was like,

it's 10 PM, maybe I'm not reading right

and so I was really at
a loss and I went home

and sorry about the
formatting of these videos

but this is my Instagram of the night

where my living room
is covered in postcards

of al of the phrases, things, words, ideas

that I wanted to share and
then I called up some friends

and I was like, I have a
problem, I've been asked

to speak about community
stuff and I can't decide

what to speak about because
this is the first time

someone has asked me to
share my story and so

let that sink in, there's
a million other stories

on my wall and a million other stories

on every wall of every
person and we have to do more

to listen to these.

Finally, Michael Hess tells
me that I'm the youngest

keynote speaker at Midcamp
and possibly the first

hijabi speaker, also, at Drupal
Con, I'm one of two hijabis

I have not met a third one,
I'm looking forward to Seattle

and so thank you all for
being present, for listening

and for contributing through the polling

and taking, coming along
with me on this crazy journey

of doing a choose your own
adventure based on my life.

And thank you all to
these wonderful people

who helped me make this keynote awesome.

I have some time, Laura helped me

with doing this choose your own adventure,

Midcamp team helped me do this,

my coworkers listened
to me present this like

mumbling at my desk like (mumbles)

and Nikki and Greg helped me figure out

what are the three things you want to say

and I was like, it's not three
but thank you for trying.

And Serena helped me last night with CSS.

It was literally like
that GIF where that guy's

pulling the blinds and the
blinds are getting all messed up

and then like I can't see inside

and Anna yesterday gave
me space at her office

to finish my slides.

And that leaves us with
seven minutes for questions.

And don't forget to go back to the Slido

and put in one takeaway and
I just want to leave this

up there, I saw this
last night in Chicago.

And it was just, it
really hit home for me.

It was a drawing of a globe, of the earth

and it just says we all live
here and so I want to add

to that, remember to value
each other, thank you.

(audience applauds)

I'm gonna take a selfie.

(audience laughs)

Smile!
- Cheese!

- [Fatima] Great, any questions, yes?

- [Man] So how do you know both outcomes

of the plane scenario?
- How do I know

both outcomes of the plane scenario.

I need to refresh my
memory 'cause this happened

a few times, oh, yes, so I was with my dad

when I was about 13 years old
on a Pakistani airlines flight

where we got taken off
the plane because my dad

is the type of person where
if someone comes up to him

in the middle of New York
City, even Times Square

and says go back to your
own country, he's like.

By the way, my country is Pakistan

and we're an atomic nuclear power.

Do you really want me to go back?

(audience laughs)

And I would be like Dad,
no, Dad, let's go! (laughs)

Yeah, and so my dad is the type of person

who does not stand down in the
face of any form of injustice

and so if you get stuck on a
plane in that kind of scenario

my dad causes trouble, and
he's the kind of the person

that in the other scenario,
had he been on the bus,

would have been like I'm
sitting, you can get off the bus

if you're uncomfortable
because you need to deal

with your own feelings and so that's that

and then I actually, when I was alone,

this was I think two
years ago going to I think

Drupal Camp New Jersey
is where I encountered

the woman who wanted to
upgrade her seat, yes?

- [Man] I have another
option for your bus scenario.

You could hand the guy a card

and say I know a good psychologist
if you want to see one.

(audience laughs)

- [Fatima] Just gonna repeat
that for the recording.

Another scenario for the bus
is you could hand the guy

a card and say I know a good
psychologist if you need it.

Passive aggressive.

(audience laughs)

In the back?

- [Man] Give us a projection,
is it getting better

or is it getting worse, in the near term,

the last couple years?

- [Fatima] The question
is, give us a projection,

is it getting better
or is it getting worse,

like let's say in the
last couple of years.

The good thing is and I
know that you've heard

all of this, heard this before, probably

is that the more we talk about it,

the better it gets, the more
that we openly talk about it

and make ourselves uncomfortable
and have these difficult

discussions, the more there
will be people in the room

that will take something away
and go and have something good

happen at their event or their workplace.

There's a lot more women,
female, hijabi leaders now

in politics, in journalism,
in fashion, in comic writing,

if you're interested, I
know all of them on Twitter

and can give you a list
and so yes it's definitely

getting better, it's days
like the New Zealand shooting

where people crawl out
from under the rocks

and say terrible things.

Or the days before Trump
got elected and the rhetoric

after his election, I think
made things a little bit worse

so some days because of political climate,

I feel like we're going backwards

and then other days we rise
from the ashes from that

and do a lot better and so
there are definitely leaders

and people and
organizations that are doing

a lot of great work and to
further this conversation

and so it's like,

at some point you need to
stop having the conversation

and you need to start doing
the work to do the things

that you were talking about
and I think it is better

in the sense from a couple of years ago

because now there are
people doing the work

and not just talking about it.

Three minutes. (laughs)

One thing I was thinking about
when I was like timing myself

for this presentation was
like the idea that staying

on time respects the time of the attendees

and as some of you are
speakers, think about that.

Yes?
- This is much longer

than your 10 minute Pokemon.
- Yes, I am known

for my Pokemon talk,
which, I think Midcamp

is super transparent so
I can see all of your

organizer Slack channels, just saying

and someone was like I hope
she can talk slower now.

(audience laughs)

And I was like, I commit
to doing better (laughs).

But also like, when it's a personal talk,

you have to take, you
have to actually breathe

because otherwise you
might burst into tears

so that has been really great. (laughs)

Great, I think there
are no other questions

but know that I am here
for the entire camp

and not for all of Saturday, though,

so come talk to me if you would like to,

come in groups if you feel
uncomfortable talking to me

about this one on one, I'm
happy to share more stories

and more background and take feedback.

I do want to give this presentaion again,

maybe more interactive, things like that,

so thank you so much for contributing,

for listening and for being
present here this morning.

(audience applauds)

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